The importance of self-love is quite the catchphrase in the self-help world but a cliche like that is really true. If you can’t love yourself, you will not be happy.

Recently, I have not been too kind to myself. I was secretly obsessed over my weight (I seriously thought I should look thinner for my special day) and my skin (not so secret; read my previous posts here and here) because of my impending nuptials.

I always thought I would be an “alternative” bride who wouldn’t give a toss about having the perfect wedding but who am I to mock other brides who are obsessed with looking their best on their big day? The thought of being on display and being the centre of attention for a day worried me more and more. Weddings are really about the bride — her dress, her makeup, her weight (“Is it a shotgun wedding?” — but in my case it would be impossible because I must have the longest engagement ever), her skin etc. And we engaged a videographer to make a video and I just didn’t want to have my muffin top be revealed for all posterity…Though in the end I’ll probably be the only one watching it when I’m old! Or maybe my mum…

…So for a while there I wasn’t enjoying my workouts as much. I felt like I had to drag myself into it which was a change from before where I loved working out. I always looked forward to my runs or other types of training, and I just listened to my body and my mind.

I realized that It doesn’t matter if I miss a few days if I don’t feel up to it. What matters is the big picture of say a whole month or year — if i can work out 80% of the times I planned to do so, then that would still be an achievement. And forget losing weight if I don’t need to though I must admit I kept comparing myself to the skinny Japanese girls I see everyday on the street and just writing that here makes me feel ludicrous!

I decided that I have to accept that I’m going to be 33, and I will not be as thin as I was when I was 25, and I may be much healthier now but you really can’t fight slowing metabolism unless you are Madonna. When I got into raw food, I went from 56kg to 47kg in nine months (I’m 1.6m if that gives you any perspective). I lost 9 kg in all, but the hard part was I gained back most of that weight in less than a year (I hover between 52 and 53kg now). This was probably due to the fact that I stopped being 90-100% raw and I’m more like two-thirds of the time raw (I’m mostly raw till dinner) and I went back to eating eggs and grains. You can imagine my clothes didn’t fit me (when I was at my heaviest), and then I lost the weight, bought new clothes and then those didn’t fit me — thank goodness I didn’t throw away the old clothes! What a yo-yo ride.

And I hated my skin for blowing up on me but it just became apparent I needed to be more patient and feed my body nourishment and rest and positive thoughts. When you love something or someone, wouldn’t you try to show them some kindness? I had so much negativity towards my body image but what flipped the switch for me? Ironically, the thing that tortured me the most: my weighing scale. The numbers wouldn’t budge for months so why fight something that is meant to be my number…and then I started making these videos for Beauty Box TV again, and I thought, “I don’t look half bad so why should I care?” It was all so stupid.

So I decided to just let myself be and love myself as I am. Stop thinking about the flaws and start appreciating what I have. Gratitude begets self-love.

Here are some great links for inspiration:

Gala Darling’s guide to Radical Self Love.

An example of gratitude journaling by Kris Carr, the awesome lady behind Crazy Sexy Life.

Zen Habit’s post on why you should stop comparing yourself to others.

Operation Beautiful mastermind Caitlin Boyle on how to change the way you “see”, not the way you “look”.

My own little spiel on how to love yourself the “healthy” way.

What’s in my gratitude list right this moment?

+ Flying back to Singapore tomorrow — seeing old friends, the fam, the doggies, and some brisk wedding plannin’ is afoot!

+ Being consistent with juicing, smoothies, and salads.

+ Feeling excited about making more Beauty Box videos. I don’t want to hide myself away anymore…

+ Loving Gareth Emery‘s electrifying tunes while I work.

+ Knocking back 500JPY melons…. I love cutting them up, whizzing the chunks with ice in a blender and drinking this melon slushie goodness upon waking.

+ Looking forward to my love returning to Tokyo today.

What’s on your gratitude list today? Do you have ups-and-downs with self-love and self-hate? Please share — I’m interested to know!

PS: Psst…please join my Summer 2011 Giveaway — it ends June 30th!

Photo credit: here

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Ever the practical gal, I’ve shied away from “high-end” cosmetics for a long time, but in recent years, I’ve had an increase in moolah in my pocket, and a yearning curiosity for luxury cosmetics. And for me Chanel epitomizes all that is elegant and timeless*.

Whenever a waft of Chanel perfume comes my way, I would breathe it in and think, “I would love to wear this some day…” I never got one because I generally don’t wear citrus scents (they smell “sweaty” on me and I’m an absolute fusspot when it comes to fragrances) like Coco Mademoiselle and Chance nor do I fancy some of their heavier, more “mature” concoctions such as Chanel No. 5 and Coco Chanel — but I still love smelling them.

So with that out of my reach, I thought a lipstick would be more democratic and it is. It’s a bit of that Chanel elegance in a tube (for USD30 a pop) that you can tuck away in your purse…or slide over your lips for that boost of self-confidence. You can watch Vanessa Paradis in the Chanel Coco Rouge commercial here and if you are curious to see her 1992 Coco Chanel perfume ad, it’s here, too.

….But one day, I accidently smooshed the top of my Chanel lipstick with the cover and the sophistication it had was gone – poof! How easily this “elegance” disappeared from my mind. Now, I feel a pang every time I take it out… “It’s so ugly now,” I think to myself and I’m even thinking of getting yet another one to forget about this mess.

In fact, some beauty bloggers out there don’t actually fancy Chanel lipsticks at all because they are quite drying or just kind of ordinary. I haven’t found that to be true in my case but it seems some people think Chanel is all smoke and mirrors…

Why am I going on about a squashed Chanel lippie? I just thought I would jot down my contemplations on a blog post — I admit it, I buy certain brands because they make me feel good, not really because they are so magical (they are not awful either!). Did I mention, they make me feel like a “real woman”?

Do you feel that way too? What brands give you that amazing confidence in the morning?

PS: Yes, yes, I know real confidence comes from within – I agree, but you know what I mean, right? Why do cosmetic brands pour all their dollars into branding and marketing if it didn’t make a difference?

*This is not a sponsored post!

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Sometimes I wonder if my skin troubles are also due in part to stress and sometimes lack of sleep. I love my work so I wouldn’t say I’m stressed in a negative way but I’m definitely challenged by the lack of time for everything in my life.

Funnily enough, I thought my year-end pilgrimage back home in Dec/Jan would help re-charge my batteries but I think it was just as hectic as my regular working routine. The endless rounds of dinners, lunches, drinks took a toll on me and then I had to throw myself back into my crazy Tokyo schedule so I inwardly craved for a quiet weekend. Just give me two days of peace and quiet and I’ll be right as rain.

And last weekend’s sojourn to snowy Hokkaido was just what the doctor ordered. Perhaps my still painful ankle (from a nasty tumble in Sydney in early Jan) was a blessing in disguise because I skipped out on snowboarding and just chilled on my own while my other half skied happily on powder snow.

I just found joy in the simple things on our trip and hope you enjoy taking a peek at my holiday…

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Hi dearies, I know that I’ve been MIA for a while but the hectic holiday travelling and wedding planning got the best of me. My bad but I’m here now. I’m getting all my ducks in a row to make 2011 an even better year than 2010.

I’m so relieved to be back in Tokyo and funnily enough, it’s almost Feb and I’m still in the “new year” mood. I feel like I blasted through Jan 2011 like it was still Dec 2010 (read: lots of eating, drinking, catching up with old friends, reminiscing times past, bathing in summer weather, shopping and other non-work-related pursuits). I only returned to Japan just a week ago which was spent treading water — doing the bare minimum; struggling with holiday body clock (sleeping and waking late); readjusting to a wintry climate.

Luckily for me, there’s Chinese New Year so I can pretend I’ve another shot at making my new year good. For most people, January is a time for detox and gearing up for more action in the months to come — that’s my modus operandi for now.

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Today’s question is, “How do you love yourself?”

My answer is, “I’ll eat a big salad.”

Before, I thought anything that was pleasurable to my senses was an act of self-love, but not so recently. Loving yourself is doing what is best for yourself.

Hear me out, as I’ve got something for you to think about. If you stop and see yourself as a good friend, how would you treat this person?

Would you stuff your loved one with loads of junk food until she would end up feeling sick? Or let her descend into a mushy pile of laziness when she feels depressed? Or attack her body with toxic things like alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs?

I’m not saying a temporary act of any of these things are so bad that they will destroy you but what I’d like to propose here is, are these acts of self-love?

I stumbled upon a great article at the Happiness Project blog, called the 5 Most Common Happiness Mistakes. Please read it because it is so true. I won’t go into the mistakes as you can read them on your own but I’d like to point out that my favorite tip is not letting yourself off the hook when you are feeling stressed or down. However, I think I am guilty of all five mistakes and I want to make a difference to my daily happiness levels.

What do you think is an act of self-love?

Whoo, I’m exhausted even though it’s just Monday. It’s always a struggle to switch off from holiday mode into frenzied work pace…

Thanks for the response to my Summer Blog Giveaway — it’s still very early in the game and you can definitely take part now because the deadline is Aug 9. Coincidentally that’s Singapore’s National Day, too.

I returned from a great weekend in Hokkaido but I think I over-indulged again. That’s a running theme for me this summer but being away from home exploring other places is just too exciting to miss out on.

I went back to basics and made a frozen banana smoothie with spinach and water. That’s it. No added superfoods or powder and it tasted great and I felt nourished. You should try to have one for breakfast — it’s filling, yummy, and energy-giving.

Anyway, I’ll like to raise a question to you: “Do you ever let your skin breathe?”

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A big thank you to all of you who took part in my first blog giveaway (a chance to win a free bottle of Mandom Cleansing Express Agecare Q10) and there’re still three days more to the deadline on Monday.

It’s the end of the week and I’m a little contemplative and would like to share some of my thoughts — it’s something that has been on my mind quite a bit and it’s about being consistent.

Keeping good habits sounds like a boring old tune, but recently, I’ve found a lot of heart and soul in consistency.

What does it have to do with health and beauty? Well, a lot. I think a lot of people look for instant solutions to reverse problems that are probably caused by the opposite — bad habits.

Personally, I try to do the following daily to keep myself in balance:

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We tend to look for quick-fixes in order to feel good — an iced frap, splurging on heels, or checking into a mani session. These are all well and good, but I don’t think they truly help us feel beautiful on the inside. When we have a bad day, it’s easy to fall back on 3 seconds of “yay” but you will still feel like you were before.

I think it’s pointless to talk about beauty without bringing the mind into it. If you are positive and happy, it will show in your radiant face.

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